WHO WOULD BE A KEEPER? PERHAPS NOT CHIC!

 A footballer who found a television set to be more than a match for him was David 'Calamity' James, who once pulled a muscle in his back when reaching for a television remote control. James also missed a match at Liverpool suffering from a RSI injury to his thumb which he blamed on his excessive computer-game habit. 

In the second League match of the 1975/76 season at Birmingham City, Manchester United's goalkeeper Alex Stepney became so animated in shouting at his own defenders that he dislocated his jaw and had to be taken to hospital.

While at Southampton goalkeeper Dave Beasant missed 8 weeks of a season after a confrontation with a bottle of salad cream. He knocked it over and attempted to control the falling bottle with his foot but only succeeded in rupturing his ankle ligaments.

Goalkeeper Chic Brodie made over 400 Football League appearances but is probably the player best remembered for the things that went wrong in his life. In 1972 the Sun described him as 'a walking mishap, a one-man casualty station, a multiple accident statistic' and after another mishap the newspaper headline was 'Unlucky Chic, The One-Man Natural Disaster'. Playing for Brentford against Millwall in November 1965 a hand grenade was thrown into his penalty area which he inspected and threw it into the net (it was later found to be a fake). 

In August 1970, again playing for Brentford, he brought a match at Lincoln to a halt when an acrobatic save brought down the goalposts. He was the Margate goalkeeper on the receiving end of a 11-0 FA Cup defeat by Bournemouth in November 1971 (Ted MacDougall scored nine of them). After he retired he became a taxi driver and once had a collision with a Jaguar...driven by Geoff Hurst! 

But perhaps he is best remembered for the injury he received when playing for Brentford at Colchester in November 1970. A dog ran onto the pitch and collided with Brodie, breaking his kneecap. He said 'the dog may have been small - but it just happened to be solid.' Although it is perhaps seen as a comical injury it did effectively end his Football League career and I certainly said 'ouch' when I first saw it.....

https://twitter.com/blzzrd/status/1332649690278416385

In a League 1 match at Glanford Park on 17th January 2015 Scunthorpe United had the misfortune of losing two goalkeepers with broken arms in their 2-0 defeat against Bristol City. First choice goalkeeper Sam Slocombe and substitute keeper Jamie Severn both suffered their injuries in the first half leaving outfielder Andy Boyce to take over between the posts.

In the days before substitutes injured players were often expected to stay on the pitch and do their duty. In one instance, on Saturday 16th February 1952 at Villa Park, Stoke goalkeeper Dennis Herod suffered a first half injury in a First Division match. He was patched up and sent out for the second half and asked 'to make a nuisance of himself' on the left wing. He did - and scored the winning goal in Stoke's 3-2 victory over Aston Villa. His injury - a broken arm!

During England's opening game of the 1980 European Championships goalkeeper Ray Clemence had to leave the field of play after succumbing to the effects of tear gas. Italian police released the gas after trouble broke out on the terraces behind Clemence's goal.

England's Jordan Pickford almost missed England's World Cup semi-final against Croatia in 2018 thanks to a self-inflicted injury. Aiming to punch the floor in frustration during his side's game against Sweden, he hit his knee and ended up hurting his thumb but recovered in time to take his place in goal.

Back in September 1957, Lazio goalkeeper Roberto Lovati ended up needing treatment after a series of curious events. With only seconds remaining of a Serie A home match against Bologna, the Rome side were winning 4-3 when the referee awarded a penalty to the away team. Disgusted by the decision, the keeper turned his back on play as Bologna's Gino Pivatelli stepped up to take the spot-kick. However, Pivatelli's effort struck the back of Lovati and rebounded back into play. The Lazio pounced on the ball, only to break his finger in the process. Lazio held on to win.

It goes on and on and on......