IT'S ME GROIN REF.

It was only meant to be a bit of fun but suddenly there is a bank advert on the television suggesting the prolonging of life and now headlines in the Times about RULES. That's all we old people need. "Prolonging life and rules".

As we pass into our golden years, that is over 50, we all want to keep as active as possible, to burn a few calories to equal out the odd pork pie consumed with a pint of foaming ale and of most importance to meet up with a few lads of a similar age and have a laugh.

So "Walking Football" has been advertised by the FA to give us momentum and if the FA is involved then there have to be RULES.

So many people are playing WF that tournaments are being established and indeed my mottley crew from Penistone Church FC have been to some distant venues in South Yorkshire and been humiliated by teams made up from 50 year old and one day, ex-professionals who all sport a Iberian tan and wear team shirts with sponsors' names and club badges. There have also been some ladies present in these semi-pro teams and good luck to them.

There are now more than 800 registered clubs playing the game (you have to be registered so that you can get a copy of the RULES) and with the ageing population and WF keeping us all fit, then there will be more clubs in the future, so we have to have EVEN MORE RULES.

Of course Manchester City is the first serious club to launch its own squad, which is put through its paces by the club's coaches. Our warm ups usually put pay to one or two of the gathered group before the footy starts and then when the walking begins, we have all discovered that a different set of muscles are used in walking fast (with one foot always in contact with the ground) compared to running, so the groins go! A number of the willing chaps from Penistone leave the astro pitch and aim for the clubhouse walking like John Wayne in his prime.

In tournaments each team comes with its own rules, made up by the bloke who applied to the local FA to get funding. Funding from the FA means standardisation, so RULES have to be made as the FA did in 1863 at that first meeting of the Association.

We are expecting a new WF rule book in the new year. Maybe even a stocking filler?

This game had humble beginnings, apparently in Chesterfield in 2011, but some of us ageing coaches have used WF for decades, adding a bit of light entertainment during normal able bodied practices! Try a bit of netball, three-legged football or football with a rugby ball or all fours football; it goes on. I expect somebody will pinch one of these ideas off me and make a fortune from it.

This week the national WF championships take place in Cirencester and the winners are reckoned to be "Leggy Mambos" from BARNSLEY and whoever wins they will take on the Scottish and the Welsh champions and before you know they will going into Europe.

What can be rest assured is that whatever our oldies achieve in the international field, they can't put on any worse a display than our full bodied, senior side has done in the past week.

Now where the Elliman's Liniment?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCFf9omZNv4