BILLY SHARP, JADE, LEO, MILO AND MIND

Billy Sharp, at 37 years old, is a well known striker (football), who is married to Jade. Playing for Sheffield United as a striker and the captain, he is a prolific goalscorer, who has been a successful journeyman footballer. (since 2004: 8 clubs: 675 apps: 267 goals). Don't know if you watched last night's FA Cup tie between The Blades and Wrexham, but it was a cracker and Sharp inevitably, played his part. Billy is speaking on Talksport now about the lack of respect shown by the oppo fans last night!

While Billy was on the books at Southampton, his wife, Jade Fair, was going through a personal torment that she kept from her husband. Nearly seven years ago Jade and Billy tragically lost their first-born, Luey, when he was two days old in October 2011. Their baby had gastroschisis, a defect of the abdominal wall that causes the bowel to grow outside the body.

After suffering that grief, everything seemed well on the surface. Football fans, including rival ones, rallied behind Billy and soon Jade fell pregnant again. Sharp gained great respect in the football world as he continued playing immediately following the tragedy. He scored a goal against Middlesbrough, just two days after the death, and then five days later scoring at Ipswich. Notable tributes included: the Middlesbrough manager, Tony Mowbray, said he was delighted Sharp had scored and called the goal against his club "A goal from heaven"; the Ipswich fans applauded him on scoring against them and chanted Luey's name; the Sheffield United fans gave applause for him in the 24th minute (Sharp's club number at United was 24) in an away game at Stevenage and players wore black armbands in their game against Cardiff City. 

This time they had the child they craved — a beautiful son called Leo. But that proved to be the start of Jade’s problems.

She told me: “People deal with grief differently. Some get on with it while others block it out and it hits them later. “That’s what happened to me. I got on with life, fell pregnant again and people would say, ‘You’re so strong, I don’t know how you do it’. “But what else could I do? I’m not a person who sits in my bedroom and cries. I did sometimes and it was bloody hard. But I lived for a whole year in denial."

“Billy had just signed for Southampton. He was at a new club, having a great season and had something he could focus on. “But when Leo came along, I was a new mum and wasn’t just grieving for the baby I’d lost, I was grieving for the baby I had just had that I didn’t feel capable of looking after. I was then living in Southampton, a long way from my friends and home in Yorkshire.

“I didn’t feel right. I was constantly breaking down. I had post-natal depression. It had been brought on by grief. When I look back at the first few years of Leo’s life, it’s like a black hole. It was pure guilt because I had just given birth to one baby but was grieving for the other. It’s so hard to put into words. Both clubs, Doncaster and Southampton, were brilliant in supporting Billy, but I felt alone. I didn’t feel that support, I didn’t have playing football to focus on and it was hard to deal with.

“Normal death and child death are so different. The pain I suffered I wouldn’t wish upon anyone.

“ But I remember once driving out somewhere with the intention of not stopping. I was going to crash my car and end it. I’m not a person who sits in my bedroom and cries. I lived for a whole year in denial. Billy had just signed for Southampton. He was at a new club, having a great season and had something he could focus on."

“When Leo came along in December 2012, I was a new mum and wasn’t just grieving for the baby I’d lost, I was grieving for the baby I had just had, that I didn’t feel capable of looking after. I was in Southampton, a long way from my friends and home in Yorkshire."

“Both Doncaster and Southampton were brilliant in supporting Billy, but I felt alone. I didn’t feel that support, I didn’t have playing football to focus on and it was hard to deal with. 

Things came to a head and Jade decided she could bear the pain no longer. She said: “I didn’t practice self-harm or anything like that, but I remember once driving out somewhere with the intention of not stopping. I was going to crash my car and end it.” Thank goodness she never went through with that. "I knew I had my family to live for, I was feeling as though I was being a failure to Leo and not being the best mum. That is what I needed to change.”

With Billy unaware that any of this had happened, Jade decided to do some online research and came across the charity Mind that helps people suffering with mental illness.

She said: “I had kept it from him because I felt he had enough to worry about with football. A GP told me I had post-natal depression and gave me tablets. I threw them in the bin. I discovered Mind online and started counselling. It was at this time I told Billy."

“It was a difficult conversation and he was upset with me for keeping it from him, but also understanding why I did. No man can understand the grief suffered by the woman who carried the child that died. Billy suffered grief of course but he’s a mentally-strong Yorkshireman.”

The EFL has teamed up with Mind as official partners to help raise awareness of mental illness, improve the approach to it in football and raise funds to deliver support. The Mind logo — a squiggle — is joined into the first letter of each player’s name on their shirt. 

Jade said: “If it wasn’t for Mind, I wouldn’t be here.There’s so much brilliant online material available on their website which advises on mindfulness, meditation and stuff like that. It hasn’t just saved my life, it’s transformed it too.” Jade and Billy have  Jade is an exceptionally brave woman who has come through the other side.

Born and bred in Scotland, and having got through a hard time, she is currently in Tanzania taking on a far easier challenge — climbing Mount Kilimanjaro! She told me before setting off: “I’m doing it with a group to raise money for Mind and The GEM Appeal, which helps children with metabolic disorder. The couple had a third child, Milo, in 2015.