AN ENGLISH LESSON?

Football, of course, a microcosm of life. From the fans to the commentators, the referees to the managers – not forgetting the parents spitting blood from the sidelines of the junior game and of course the players from every echelon. Indeed, every form of human life (and lowlife) is in the great game.

The Victorians would have developed the language initially, although some words have been inserted into vocabulary, from the very early forms of football; Greeks, Romans, Latins, Orientals and even Inuit Eskimoes played a ball game "aqsaqtuk" which just means football on ice-some say the spirits of the dead go to the Northern Lights and play football with the head of a walrus! A touch "tusk" perhaps?

"Unprecedented" pops up everywhere, from club owners, FA Committee, Coaches, supporters and let's not forget the officials-bless them. BUT it is the players that entertain us most. It is for the goal-hangers and the whizkids, the divers, darlings, and shithousers, who fill us each week, with renewed hope and expectation, only to deliver the same anticipointment as last time. Need a new epithet? or more for the post-match analysis in the pub or just at home, here are a few ideas: 

princock: the goalhanger who is only there for the glory, and who somehow neglects to thank the team mates who did all the heavy lifting. nickum: the cheat whose dives are a theatrical tour-de-force, or who puts their hands up in doe-eyed innocence after knocking out an opponent. whiffler: the thoroughly indecisive player who looks around frantically before passing and inevitably loses the ball. circumbendibus: partner to the whiffler, this is the player who passes the ball all round the houses instead of driving it forward. pavoniser: the player with all the gear but no idea-from the Latin for‘peacock’ Education!!!!   huff-snuff: the indignant one, who is forever muttering to themselves, shouting at the ref, or scornfully tossing their freshly-bleached locks whenever a decision doesn’t go their way.  cacafuego: Spanish for ‘fire-shitter’, this is the player who is all bluster and little substance. Cacafuego was an impressively-armed Spanish galleon, captured easily by Sir Francis Drake. dandilly: the fan’s darling who can do no wrong. George Best was often told by Matt Busby not to turn up for team talks, because they largely consisted of: ‘Whenever possible, give the ball to George’.  aliped: the Usain Bolt of the team who leaves all others in their wake. From the Latin for ‘winged feet’. unasinous: one for the team that promises the world and ends up giving nothing but heartburn. From the Latin for ‘one ass’, this means ‘united in stupidity’.

Well we all know a few of these don't we? If you want a few more obvious ones, but some you may have missed try this: https://www.ef.com/wwen/blog/language/english-football-terms-need-know/

AND if that fails? have an English word search...level? easy!!